The I factor…

My hands were not dirty enough!! I got into a new job and within days had this feeling that I know quite a bit and my thoughts and ideas are just right. And soon the fun of being in a new area / organization / job started getting bitter. The responses and thoughts turned into actions which surely didn’t help much. I forgot that there were others too, that they too are experienced and I am part of that environment. Over the years and in different job settings, I have come into a situation which is not entirely of my liking. And the easiest response (followed by actions) is I am doing everything right and the problem lies “there”. In the recent months, while reflecting my own ways of working and some experiences that I encountered, memories went back to the 90s and early 2000, thinking could I have done anything different then. The factor “I” took shape!!

Years ago, in a management setting, I made a decision and wasn’t seen as a positive move. They were the early years, still learning the nuances and as well developing the capacity to differentiate “person” from “the issue”. Wasn’t easy and possibly will never be!! My colleague, who was also part of that decision making came and said, “Utpal, I was also part of the decision and I am equally responsible”. What happened to me during that entire journey is a different story but the biggest motivation and learning came from that statement. I realized that if we have to create a difference, it has to start with oneself.

There was an interesting episode few months ago. We received a letter from an organization seeking medical support for one of their staff. One of the reasons why the letter (and the support) was sent to us (and to different organizations) was because that particular staff, at some point, had worked with those different organizations including us. When sought a response what should we do, each one of us gave our views, primarily revolving around the humanitarian case and the availability of budget. There was nothing wrong in what I or others said but the bigger question that was put forward: where is the organisation’s responsibility and what that is and should be?

Almost every day we all are confronted with situation where there are discussions around job well done and targets not met. But when we experience difficulties or challenges, how quickly we resort to analysing the “external factors”! We rarely say, “I too am part of this environment and must have contributed to this…” As I write this, I remember a very interesting dialogue with a colleague. I was working in Laos then and he mentions that taking responsibility is not about identifying a scapegoat but is about setting a different work paradigm where successes and failures are shared and celebrated. He actually expressed a million words…

Let me end this with a nice story. A few days back I was talking to a young professional who like all of us is going through the dilemmas and challenges in the work environment. It took some time to understand and appreciate that “I” am also part of that same work environment and not an outsider. Criticizing the work environment, for example, means that I am far away from taking responsibility and in turn criticizing my own beliefs, values and attitudes. I am very keen to learn what difference it made to the person and the environment where the person works.

The exploration continues. Is it really all about taking responsibility and is this the answer to solve all / most problems? How much time do we spend and invest in understanding the environment? Difficult moments and how do we handle? The footprints of years gone by says…..

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Khopchai da to Amasaganalo

Two words but have the same meaning. And there are so many of them across countries and continents. They are expressed at various times and on different occassions. From working with communities in rural India, to head offices in Delhi, to SE Asia and now in Africa, this has been a long and memorable journey. Sitting on a nine hours flight and traveling from one corner of Africa to the other, I started jotting down how our work helps us to understand who we are and the relationship with our immediate environment. On one hand, I have been very fortunate to have worked and interacted with such people who made that difference and on the other, the analytical mind starts talking about what makes them so different. I presume each one of us exhibit such behaviours and characteristics and only gets captured when one interacts with them. I am far away from such a yardstick but doesnot stop me to acknowledge and even learn a few tips from every discussion, every interaction I have had with them.

It was early January this year and a doctor from one of our project area has been visiting and requesting us to construct a health clinic, something that we do, given funding availability. He visited us again and again. There were considerations, for example, how we can construct one health clinic and the complexities that go with it. He visited some of our clinics and saw the change that it had brought to hundreds of communities and this motivated him to have one for the area where he is posted. What touched me was his perseverance and finally we gave in!

Years ago when I had started working, in one of the village meetings where we had planned to discuss (and then distribute) savings and credit programme, lost few thousand cash. There was lot of discussion around how did this happen but fast came the reply, “you share half and I will pay half”. Technically, I was holding the cash and I should have paid the full amount. It was a classic case of taking responsibility! Nothing better than learning by doing!!

In this career and life span there are hundreds and thousands of such experience and wish I could jot down every experience that I have encountered. This expression wouldn’t be complete if I don’t share couple of more such experiences, which possibly has touched me the most. We all experience failure and defeat. And for many of us, surely me, it takes a while to accept. Many of us become vulnerable during such period and only few could “stand up” after a fall!  I met this incredible person during one of my journeys and more I listened, I could barely close my wide opened mouth. It was stunning and one message came out so loudly from that conversation: believing in one self, the courage to stand up and the conviction, “I will rebuild myself”. I asked who was with you during this period, and what I received was a smile. I understood! The expression that there was no expectation (to have someone around) also taught me few lessons although immediately acknowledged that blessed are those who have people to stand by. On one hand, leadership roles can be lonely but on the other, it can generate huge enthusiasm and support. 

We all know this, don’t we? So…..!! I presume what I captured are some of the life time experiences of people around me, the learning that goes with this and the chord that gets touched during such journeys!  

Let me end this with a recent experience. I was traveling to one of the most secluded project districts in Ethiopia. I met this young volunteer who is a teacher. The group of 40-60 pastoral students quite likes him and while talking to this teacher I realized what a passion he has: in this far flung place with little or no facilities, and no guarantee of regular salary, and he has been offering his services for past few years. I couldn’t ask him where he wants to go after this and what he wants to do, but could only say, “Amasaganalo…Thank You! I presume this is what makes the difference, the innate ability to connect between dreams and masses.

What has been your experience during your respective journeys? What do we need to do to connect our dreams with our environment? Is this so simple or is this something that one has to experience, learn and build up? Where does it all begin? So much to explore and isn’t this the best place!!

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